im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
is it fun? or sober?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
