Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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