16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
