My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize