i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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