On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
