people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
His nipple licking is glorious
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