I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
