Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
