No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize