You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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