i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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