Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
