GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
