..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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