You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize