I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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