i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
