my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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