So drunk its hurt
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
