Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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