My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
