like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
