I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
