Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize