You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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