so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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