waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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