We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He passed out mid-signature
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I want to fling myself into the sun
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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