Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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