Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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