508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
