Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
