their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
