i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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