Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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