I heard we made out
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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