Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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