I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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