ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
