Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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