Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
