DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
This house was built for laser tag.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
