Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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