Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
