I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think a kid would responsible me up
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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