the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
