You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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