p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
