I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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