Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
