he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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