he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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