Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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