i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
