Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
