She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
