On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
tell me about the eggs
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize