your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
