how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A bitchslap is in order.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
