She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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