Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
