im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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