she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
