Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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