dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
