I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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