in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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