we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
