he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize