So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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