I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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