what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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