Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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