Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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