Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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