hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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