Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
